Oct 31 2007
On marriage
So, the wedding was fantastic! We had a great time and really appreciate all of our friends and family who spent the day with us. It’s not often that everyone you care about is in one room together. Weddings and funerals. That’s about it. And weddings are much happier occasions.
When friends or coworkers ask how I like marriage or how things are going, I always jokingly reply, “Well, we’re just waiting for the disillusionment to set in.” It’s not that I’m being cynical. You see, Brian and I spent months in premarriage counseling going through books that warned us marriage isn’t all butterflies and roses.
Disillusionment is something we often joke about. But usually I get all kinds of random responses from people when I reply with that. The security guard at my job told me that her marriage was great until they hit the 6-month mark. But my brother-in-law Vince told me not to expect it at all. Something tells me the key to avoiding disillusionment is having realistic expectations. The marriage books we read almost stressed it too much. We felt that they were taking a very negative stance toward marriage. But I also realize many couples get married with this idea that it’s going to be like a Hollywood movie. I think if one goes into it knowing it’s going to be incredibly hard work and, at the same time, incredibly rewarding, there is a better chance disillusionment can be kept at bay.
But what do I know? I’ve been married 11 days. I’m hardly an expert. The only thing I have learned in the past 11 days is not to expect Brian to make any kind of sense at 3 in the morning.